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What is the size of a gift? How high is an amazonian altiplano?
by James Carpenter.
Hello, this chapter starts in Lima. Nico and I are flying to Iquitos to go to the Refugio Altiplano. This has been arranged under the guidance of some good advice from Carolynne, whom we met in Cusco. So we are feeling pretty positive about what we will experience.
Our flight from the busy Lima airport was about as easy as any flight I have caught. No lines, nothing, being at 4:30 in the morning. Straight through and onto the Aero Condor flight to Iquitos, after a hearty breakfast at Dunkin Donuts. Nico had a pizza though, so he is worse than me mum!
We got to iquitos and the heat hit our bodies as we stepped from the plane. Nothing unexpected but still unpleasant. I had flashbacks to the Inti Wara Yassi experience (in as far as the weather - the masturbating monkey thing does not come into play here). We met our man in the airport. It is so nice having someone waiting for you with your name on a card. It even said our names, instead of "wanker" or "shithead", which was nice. He took us to meet our representative from the office, Doris.
So we said "hello Doris". I was expecting to see a grey haired biddy, but Doris is a walking wet dream. Young, tall, strong amazonian body, beautiful peruvian features. So after recovering from that shock, Nico and I were taken to Iquitos for a quick tour. We saw the Steel House, casa de hierro, which was the creation of the architect/engineer who designed the Eiffel tower (googleise it if you must, I did. Alexandre Gustav Eiffel built it for the Paris Exhibition of 1878. It was then bought by the wealthy rubber barron Julius H. Toots and transported to Iquitos. So Nyah to disbelievers, I do research stuff before I publish, if I feel like it).
We then went to the river to catch a boat to the refugio. Nice boat and everything. We zoomed up the Amazon River. It is pretty big, I can assure you. We got to the Refugio at midday. It was there that we met our, um, guide (?), Scott. He stands about 5'8", blonde hair, blue eyes, about 50, fit, and has a lively energy surrounding him. Genuine to the core, he knows about stuff that can really make a change in a person. It was a pretty good first impression (as you can probably tell).
We got shown to our rooms after saying "hi" to Simba the Ocelot. A nice, lofty cabin with mosquito nets. It was remote and quiet too. We had a chat to Scott about what we hoped to achieve in our stay. It really helped to say what we did and get the answers. It is true that Scott is quite a pragmatist. It is easy to get lost in fluffy bullshit newage spirituality wank-talk. Scott is not like this at all. After all, he is a psychologist, world traveller, father and fully competent and effective shaman.
We also met the other guests at the refugio. A lovely woman called Paola and her friend, a flamboyant homosexual called Gian Carlos. I use this description carefully, despite running the risk of sounding like I am applying an unpleasant stereotype. But its true! Besides, he has abhorrent taste in belts. Yeuch! Our first introduction to the effects of Ayahuasca was the comment "I saw colourful elephants!".
So what is Ayahuasca? It is the potent weapon of choice of the shaman. It is the steeped drink of the ayahuasca and chacruna. The effect of the ayahuasca is to break down the barriers we put around ourselves to assist in mental and physical healing. I believe that the physical healing comes from the mental healing, but thats not what the book says so I have to say both (also in fairness to my thin understanding and experience).
So what happens when you drink the Ayahuasca? Firstly, you throw up. Volumously and noisily. This is seen as a purging of toxins, mostly of bile. During this time the Shaman will be applying agua florida (a sweet smelling flower "water"). He also breathes smoke onto you, as breathing and blowing is seen to have great positive effects. After passing through the purging, you then go through a "take off". This is where it feels like your spirit is leaving your body. You shake and convulse, or, if you are like Nico and I, lie back quietly. Everyone is different.
It is at this stage that you pass into a trance. The best thing is that the shaman will come around and start to sing an ancient healing song called an icaro. You feel like you sway and wrest with the song in your trance. Otherwise, you travel though your trance and learn your lessons as you go. For the first night, I was given (for me) a very weak dose which was not enough to start any trance. For the second night, I got just over three times the previous amount. It worked. I did not try to work on any understandings. I just watched the pretty colours. The reason was that I was simply getting used to my new surroundings, my workstation.
The third night I took a large initial dose to assist me with takeoff. I also took a small booster. In this case, I went into a deep trance. I felt waves of energy, like a vibration, passing over me. I explored deep into myself, into my utmost feelings of insecurity. I found my devil, my one hatred and I transformed myself into him. I was nothing, a black hole. I was sucking in everyones energy. I felt like the guy at the party who inadvertently and against his wishes stops the fun. I felt so guilty I wanted to cry.
An important part of the experience is what I call the "tape recorder". A small part of your brain that remembers these crazy experiences. I was able to talk to Nico and Scott about it the next day. We decided it was a silly fundamental thing to have, and Scott reassured me that I was someone important and of substance. But it still scares me.
The next night was a requsite rest night. The ceremonies start at about 8pm and go to maybe 2 or 3am, so it wears you down. Not to mention the crazy brain functions you have. The most intrigueing thing about Ayahuasca is its ability to exercise your mind. The images and thoughts you have after drinking the Ayahuasca is like a big workout at the gym for your brain. Exhausting, but richly rewarding.
Night five and ceremony four. Only a moderate dose because I leave the next day. I go into my trance. I get asked the question "how big is a gift?" Well, the bigger the better, obviously. Who wants a small piece of gold? So I saw my answer. It was a huge sphere, massive, much bigger than me. This is good! Then the image zooms out a little. The sphere becomes smaller, smaller, the size of a soccer ball, the tennis ball, the golf ball. Then I see the gift is sitting on a curved surface. Keep zooming out. The curved surface is huge, expansive, curiously textured. Zoom out and the gift is now very small. Keep zooming out and the gift is actually so small I can no longer see it, though it is there. Zoom out more and the curved surface becomes a column, further zoom shows it is more digitate. In fact, it is a finger. Zoom out more and it is a hand, an arm, a body. My body. The gift is on my fingertip. I realise what the gift is, it is the gift of life my parents gave me.
This is just one of the major trances I had. I also saw a purple and blue disco, a trapdoor, a spaceman, a bleeding computer mainboard. I chanted in a made-up language and spoke to my demon. All these meaningful images, it is difficult to interpret the meaning from the clutter. But speaking about them with Scott helped me so very much. The other things that helped were a very simple and healthy diet, lots of fresh air from the jungle and requisite physical work. My favourite exercise was to take the kayaks on the river for a couple of hours. We paddled to a small lake and to a remote treehouse that the refugio had built. The exercise was an excellent part of the basic balance of life at the refugio.
So, after my stay was up, I was due to go back to Lima. It was at this point that Nico decided to stay for a month. He is basically spending his remaining funds at the Refugio and will undergo a harsh diet, extra plant medicines and many ceremonies. It will be a profoundly difficult and rewarding journey. He also wishes all his friends "Happy Voyages!"
Next stop, Lima then Vancouver!
